Just Give Me a Reason
by CharmedWriter11
Summary: A modern dragon queen AU that's full of angst and more angst and probably even more angst. Regina and Mal are married and have a one-month-old daughter named Lily. Once the fighting starts, it doesn't seem to have an end, especially for the two of them.
1. Prologue

**AN: SO, I had this idea stuck in my head for a while now and I wanted to finally write it. This is my first time writing a dragon queen fic (though I do rp as the both of them) and I hope I can do this ship justice. The first chapter is supposed to be vague so don't worry if you're a little confused by it. All shall be revealed in due time lol. I'm also ignoring the rules of biology and saying that science is more evolved and that Lily is both of theirs biologically. Rating may change but we'll see. This is unbetaed so mistakes are mine. Enjoy and let me know what you think**

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 _"_ _I can't take this anymore. I'm done. It's over."_

 _"_ _You can't just leave. What about Lily? What about me? What about us?"_

 _"_ _I'm feeling suffocated here. I can't breathe."_

It was the same fight that they had been having each night for the past month. But it seemed like they're fighting was only getting worse and worse. She couldn't even tell why the fighting had begun. Why they were really fighting, but the more that they fought, the more frustrated and angry she got at her wife.

They used to be so happy and in love.

But now, she didn't even recognize the woman who stood before her. Hell, there were some days she didn't even recognize herself in the mirror either. She could never explain how their fighting had changed them. But it had. They were already very unrecognizable and it had only been a month of fighting. At this rate, she was sure they could never go back to who they once were. Before all of this. The constant fighting.

They were fine before this. The only thing that had changed was that they had welcomed a daughter. Their little girl, Lily. Neither of them thought that she was the cause of their fighting. She was only a month old after all. And was definitely someone who was loved and wanted by the both of them.

At least that's what she thought.

No, she wouldn't entertain those thoughts. This fight, whatever it was. It was between them and them alone.

She probably just wasn't a good wife to her anymore. Wasn't supportive like she should have been towards her. That's why they were fighting, she reasoned with herself. It was the only reason she accepted. It had to make sense.

And yet, it didn't explain the tears at night that escaped while she was trying to sleep. She could hear her wife crying beside her as well. At least she seemed to be just affected by this as herself.

Fighting and crying. Would this be her life for as long as she lived?

They had promised each other forever when they made their vows those five years ago.

She still meant it. But her wife? She wasn't quite sure anymore.

She didn't want to ask her. She was afraid of the answer if she was being honest with herself. To think that she had done something that caused her wife to stop loving her. To know the only thing she was good at was pushing people away.

She wouldn't be surprised. After all, it had happened before with the woman she was with before she met her wife. That other woman just stopped loving her and left without another explanation.

The world seemed to turn dark that day and the only time she felt light in her life again was when she met her wife.

They bumped into each other, quite literally, spilling coffee down each other's shirts. They both had this fire in them and it came out in full force. They yelled at each other, causing a scene. Embarrassed, they apologized and she had offered to by the other woman a fresh cup.

She said she was running late for a meeting, and that they'd have to have a rain check.

To her surprise, there had been flowers sent to her on her lunch with the invitation of drinks, an offer she couldn't refuse.

The two women had much in common and they hit it off. She never used to believe in love at first sight, but was becoming more and more convinced that love at second sight was very real. She never felt this way before and she knew that maybe she'd finally found her match.

They already had the same kind of fire inside of them after all.

The more time that they spent together, the more that she was convinced that this was the woman for her.

Surprisingly, she wasn't the one to propose. She had the ring all picked out and the speech all written out. But her wife beat her to it.

The proposal wasn't anything special, just a question asked while they cuddled on the couch. But it was her wife's style and it fit them so much better than the lavish one she'd been planning for the next night. She said yes without a moment's hesitation and then told her about her own plans to propose.

Her wife made her read her the speech she had planned anyways.

But that was then. When life was better and they were happy.

It's the moments like that that keep her up at night now. She cries over those memories now when she thinks back on them. Especially after a fight and tonight, she can already feel the tears start to well up. She pushes them down. She won't cry in front of her wife. She's too proud for that.

However, she doesn't know how to fix them. To get them back to the two women in love. But the sad part is, is that she doesn't even know if she wants to anymore. Not if this is the woman her wife is going to continue to be. The one that yells and starts fights and wakes up their one-month-old daughter. But that doesn't seem to bother her. At least it doesn't stop the fighting between them.

All of their fighting so far has led to nothing. Not really. All it ever is, is hurt feelings and empty threats that her wife is going to leave. They go to bed angry and that's when the crying begins. But they are both too hurt to actually comfort each other. She's still surprised they even still sleep in the same bed. They'd have the room for her wife to go somewhere else to sleep. She likes to think that the fact that her wife doesn't is a sign that they still have a chance to be together. That they can still fix this.

When really it's probably because they are both too stubborn to cave. They both love their bed and it's theirs. One little fight (or thirty) doesn't have the power to change that. Besides they've found that they don't end up sleeping well if they're not next to each other. Hearing the other's heartbeat and breathing has always been a comfort for them both. She doesn't want her to leave her, but doesn't know what she needs to do to get her to stay.

It's only a matter of time before those threats are real, but she's all too glad when her wife is still there in the morning.

They both apologized the second that her wife hands her, her coffee mug. There are soft mutterings of an "I'm sorry" that wasn't said the night before. They put it behind them, or at least that's what she thinks and then she goes to work.

She makes it a point to send her flowers every day around lunch time. The same ones she got after their first meeting. She doesn't like to think about how her flowers always ended up in the trash by the time their fight got into full swing. She just wants to keep showing her wife that she loves her and that she is sorry for whatever it is that she had done to cause all of the fighting in the first place.

And it's always the same. The fights start the second that Lily has been put to bed. It's always something small that ends up escalating into something much larger. She doesn't understand how they've trapped themselves into this cycle and is determined to get out of it. She hated feeling so powerless in stopping these fights and wanted to only keep their family together no matter what it took.

At least that's what she had planned before tonight's fight.

It had started just like all the others, but it turned once her wife sighed and sat down on the couch, refusing to even look up at her. No, there was definitely something different about tonight's fight. What, she wasn't sure and she was sure she'd find out soon enough.

But from the beginning there had just been more bite behind her wife's words. Like she was trying to provoke her. They said even worst things to each other than they ever had before and she just had a feeling that maybe this was it. They were finally done for.

Her wife just sat down and kept repeating that she couldn't do this anymore. She refused to look up at her. It was then she noticed that her wife was crying. Hurt in a way she'd never seen before.

Instantly she snapped out of her anger and knelt before her. She apologized and claimed that she didn't mean what she had said. Her wife just shook her head. She then explained that she wasn't crying over the fight, she'd stop listening anyways. When asked what she meant, her wife simply just said that she was tired and not feeling like herself and that she needed some space to think.

Her wife was going to sleep in the spare bedroom tonight.

Even though her heart broke, she knew it was probably for the best. They just needed some space to breathe and maybe they could figure this out in the morning. Her wife had agreed, giving her a smile even. She promised that she wanted them to work out too.

Something still didn't feel right when she went to their room to get ready for bed. She didn't know if it was because her wife wasn't in there with her, doing the nightly routine she'd come to love, or if it was something else entirely. But there was just a feeling in the pit of her stomach that told her something wasn't right. She didn't want to dwell on it too much though because it would keep her up that night. There was a part of her that wanted to curl up beside her wife in the other room once she was asleep. Because then maybe she could sleep that night.

But she decided against that. She would give her wife the space she would need. And they would talk in the morning. She had trust that they would be fine for some reason. Maybe it was just that she didn't want to think about a life where her wife wasn't there with her. They still loved each other, at least she still loved her. This was just some hurdle that they were going to have to get over, some storm that they had to bear. But once it was over, she was sure that they'd come out even stronger in the end.

She was going to continue to fight for their love until her wife told her that she no longer loved her. Then, maybe she'd finally let her go. But until her wife said those words – and she hadn't, not even when they said every other hurtful thing to each other – she was going to continue to fight and have hope about them. Maybe she was foolish to want to do so, but what else could she do?

She stared up at the ceiling, still not finding sleep even hours later. This was ridiculous. She should just talk with her wife, and actually, talk with her and figure out what was going on. In all the fighting, that was the one thing she realized was missing from her marriage. Talking.

She was going to fix that because that was the one thing that she could do. She got out of bed then. But before she could leave the room, she heard the most devastating of sounds. One she truly hoped she never had to hear in the middle of the night.

The front door slamming

Even though she ran after her wife, trying to stop her, it was too late. She knew that she had to face the truth.

Regina was gone.


	2. Chapter 1

**Thank you so much for all of the reviews and follows. They made my day. They've only seemed to inspire me to continue this story. I have an idea of where I want for this story to go but do not know how many chapters separate that from this. I'm also still debating switching the narrative around and really get into Regina's head some of the times too, to help better explain what's been going on but we'll see. Would love ideas about that and all of this! Anyways, here is the next one and do please continue to enjoy and review :)**

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 _"I can't take this anymore. I'm done. It's over."_

Maleficent woke with a start. Instinctively she reached over to her wife's side of the bed. But unsurprisingly it was still empty. Just like it had been for the past three years.

When her wife had left, the nightmares had begun. It was the same one really over and over again. The constant reminder that she had lost the love of her life. She didn't really remember what happened in them. Only that Regina and she would be in the same room and that they'd get into a fight. It wasn't always the same fight, but it always ended the same. With Regina saying those words and then disappearing. Vanishing into thin air, like magic. But this was no fairytale.

And to make matters worse, Maleficent would wake with a start to an empty bed and have to face the truth.

Her nightmares were very real.

For the most part, Maleficent was doing as well as could be expected given that she hadn't seen or heard from her wife in over three years.

Their daughter Lily, was perfect. Even though it hurt Mal to have to look into the face of her wife. The girl was the splitting image of her mother. But Mal would never hold that against her. Especially since she was all that was left of Regina. Lily was the sweetest girl on the planet and Mal simply adored her.

Sure, she never thought that she'd be a single mother. When Regina and her and found a doctor who could take bone marrow from Maleficent and fertilize one of Regina's eggs, she never thought that meant she would have to do this alone. Regina had been so thrilled when she learned she was pregnant and Mal just knew her wife was going to be a good mother.

Regina was only a mother for a month, and Mal couldn't decide if she was or not. She didn't give Mal the chance to form a real opinion.

She wanted to hate her wife. She really did. It would be so much easier to hate the woman who abandoned her and their daughter. To make her the bad guy. But no matter what, she just couldn't.

She could never stop loving her either.

Her friends wanted her to move on. To find someone else. But every date she found herself comparing them to Regina. They never seemed to stack up.

She knew where her friends were coming from, it had been three years. But Mal was still holding onto hope that maybe, just maybe Regina would come back.

After all, they were still married. Regina had never sent divorce papers like Mal was sure she would.

That was something Mal would be forever grateful for. It was bad enough that Regina just left without saying goodbye, but it would be even worse if she had filed for divorce. Mal's heart would probably never recover.

But there was a small part of her that knew she should be the one to seek Regina out and file for divorce. Her friends were right, she was only prolonging her pain and suffering.

She hadn't even spoken to Regina since that night. No texts, or calls, emails, or letters. For the first couple of months, she had tried everything and got nothing. Once Regina's voicemail had been filled up and her letters started being returned, she knew she needed to stop. She was only hurting herself more.

But she just wanted answers. To hear Regina's voice just once more. She had always been attracted to her wife's voice, something she hadn't even know she could be attracted to before meeting Regina. But she was. She remembers fondly the way her wife used to whisper her name as she came down from her high or how she'd sound just waking up in the morning. It was pure heaven.

And now as she lay in her bed, alone, she wished it was her wife she was waking up to. She'd soothe her back to sleep and then proceed to curl into her arms.

"Mama?"

Her child's voice seemed to cut through her painful memories and she was glad for the interruption. With a quick glance at the clock, 3:15 a.m., she sat up on the bed and frowned. It was never a good thing if her child was up before eight.

Mal frowned and looked at the girl. "Lily, baby? What's wrong."

She looked like she was going to cry and her heart broke for her.

"Bad dweam."

Mal gave her a small smile and held her arms out, signifying that she'd like to hug her daughter. Lily happily ran into her arms. Mal picked her up and cuddled with her, gently rubbing her back. "Do you want to talk about it?"

Lily shook her head and nuzzled into Mal'a chest. She should take her back to bed, but she also liked being able to cuddle with someone in her own bed. Probably one of the things most she hated about being alone.

"Was it about school?"

Lily had been a little apprehensive to go to preschool. And it had taken a lot of coaxing and convincing on Mal's part to get her excited for it. And she was getting there especially as her first day drew nearer and nearer. She would start in the morning, and last night when Mal had put the girl down, she had been buzzing with excitement. But something must have changed since then. Mal was worried about her daughter.

She felt a small nod against her chest and Mal let out a soft sigh. Gently she combed through her daughter's hair with her fingers. It was so soft just like Regina's and maybe she shouldn't be cuddling with her when she missed her wife the way she did. But her daughter needed her so she brushed all of her hurt aside.

"Baby we talked about this. School is so much fun and you're going to meet so many new friends and have a teacher. School is great."

"School is yucky." She frowned and pulled away from her mother just enough to look up at her. God, she looked so much like Regina it was really painful. "No wanna go."

"Lilith.." Mal warned. She never really liked to use her daughter's full name, but she had to get her to see that this would be good for her. That she didn't need to worry or be scared about going to school.

Lily frowned and crossed her arms, a gesture that was such her wife she had to bite back a laugh. Regina didn't even raise her but it amazed her how many of her wife's mannerisms she seemed to pick up. Maybe that could squash the whole biology versus environment debate.

Mal gently kissed her daughter's head and cupped her cheek. "Have I ever lied to you before?"

Lily shook her head at that.

"I know you're scared, but I can promise you that you're going to love it. Everyone will be just as scared as you. But being scared is okay. It just means you're about to experience something new. I still get scared sometimes too but do you ever see me stay away from anything that scares me?"

Lily shook her head again and Mal smiled. At least it seemed like she was getting through to her.

"And I promise I won't leave you until you tell me to, okay?"

"You pwomise?"

"Always baby girl. Now let's get you back into bed. You're going to want to be all rested up for your big day."

Lily gave her mother a hug and Maleficent moved to carry her back into her own bed. As she drifted back off to sleep once Maleficent had tucked her back in, Mal was glad that at least one of them could sleep so easily after having a nightmare. She wasn't going to be so lucky.

She headed downstairs and made herself a cup of tea. She was sure that she wasn't going to sleep again, she rarely could after having these nightmares. It was a wonder she was still functioning after all these years of little to no sleep most nights. But she managed and would continue to manage. Never in a million years did she think her life would just be described as "managing."

Never in a million years did she think her life would just be described as "managing."

She missed the days when she was happy. When she was doing more than just managing. And maybe she could have that for herself again. Maybe it was time to let go of the past and start over.

Regina clearly had and she needed to too.

As she sipped her tea she thought about calling that last girl she went on a date with. Of all the dates she'd been on, at least she seemed the most normal and down to earth. She was attractive and Mal found that she could grow to love her one of these days. It may never be close to the love she felt - feels - for Regina, but she can try. She'll call her once Lily was at school. Maybe she'll make plans for that evening and call a babysitter for Lily. Have a nice evening out and not dwell on her ex for once.

She finished her cup and was more determined to prove to everyone else that she was over her wife. Maybe she'd look into hiring a private investigator to track her down so that Mal could finally serve her divorce papers.

Then Mal would be free. And she'd be able to finally sleep through the night.

She went to bed a little more at ease and when her alarm went off a few hours later, she felt a little like herself. The old her anyways. She never realized how much of a weight carrying around Regina was and now she felt lighter. Like her wife wouldn't be able to bring her down ever again.

She got Lily up and ready quickly enough without too much of a complaint and maybe the universe was finally throwing her a bone.

She tried not to think of all the families Lily would be exposed to. Because sure enough, she knew her daughter would start asking questions about why she only had one parent when most of the kids in her class had two. She definitely wasn't ready for the pain that would come from that. Especially not today. No, today she was happy and feeling light. Nothing was going to bring her down.

She found a parking spot easily enough and held Lily's hand as they walked towards her daughter's classroom. She could feel people staring, but she paid them no mind.

She knew people always gave her looks when she was out with her daughter. Where Mal was blonde, pale, and blue-eyed, Lily was brown-haired, brown-eyed, and darker skinned, all of her mother's Hispanic heritage on display. She ignored them. They didn't get to judge her for having a daughter with mixed heritages. Lily was beautiful and through all of this mess, she was the one thing they had created together and she was perfect in every way.

There were times when she had terrible moments when she hated that Lily had been born because it seemed like Lily had been the cause of their marriage dissolving after all, but once she chastised herself she knew that she never regretted having Lily. Lily was the light of her life and one of the reasons she bothered to get out of bed each morning. No, she would never take her decision to have a kid with Regina back. Even if she knew that Regina wouldn't have left. She loved her daughter too much for that.

She gave her daughter a soft smile and knelt down to her level. "Are you ready?"

Lily gave a weak nod and a small smile. Maleficent stood and opened the door. As she walked through the door, she felt a certain unease for some reason. Not because she didn't trust that the school was good - she spent countless hours researching every preschool around them and chosen this one because it was simply the best. Even though the teacher, Raina White, was new this year, she still trusted that Lily would be in good hands and wasn't worried about that - But she still couldn't explain this feeling.

At least not until she saw the teacher. She felt as if she had been punched in the gut and she wanted to take Lily and never look back. But she couldn't. It had been too late.

At least the teacher seemed to have the same reaction as the two's eyes met across the room. Maleficent licked her lips as she started to walk towards her. So much for her light-hearted feeling, she had this morning.

She took a small breath and pulled Lily close when the woman stopped right in front of them. There was something in her eyes that Mal couldn't read and she was startled.

Because there before her stood no one other than Regina Mills.

So many unanswered questions and emotions ran through Maleficent and she did everything she could not to make a scene. But her eyes never left the brunette's, cataloging everything that was different about her from the last time they had seen each other. Regina's hair was shorter, and she wasn't wearing her signature pantsuits to work. It was a strange change to see her dressed down, but still Regina pulled off the look well. Plus there was the fact that apparently she now had preschool teacher on her resume.

Before either woman could say something, Lily gave the other woman a smile. "Are you my teacher? I'm Lily. You're really pretty."

Regina tore her eyes away from Maleficent and knelt before their daughter. No, Maleficent's daughter, since Regina lost that right when she left them both behind. More than anything, Maleficent wished she knew what her wife was thinking as she saw Lily for the first time. She hoped that Regina realized in that moment what she had been missing out on.

But instead, Regina gave her a bright smile. "I'm Miss White. It's so lovely to meet you, Lily. There are other kids over there if you'd like to play with them."

Lily gave Maleficent a hug and ran off. There goes their buffer. Maleficent watched as Regina licked her lips. She hated herself for still being so damn attracted to her even after all this time. She was trapped in her wife's spell and couldn't figure out a way to get out of it.

"Regina.." Mal finally said with an obvious disbelieving tone.

Regina shook her head and looked around. "Not here. Please. We can talk after school but not now." She pleaded with her silently. And even after all that this woman had put her through, she found herself nodding in agreement. There was a time and place for everything, and yelling at her daughter's teacher on the first day of school, would definitely not help make Lily like school. She should have agreed with Lily and just stayed home. They could have tried school next year instead.

A pang of something went through her as she watched Regina make her way through the classroom. It was worse when she knelt down and started to play with Lily.

It was a moment she thought about since Regina had left and yet it was way less satisfying than she could ever imagine it to be. Before, she hoped that them reuniting would bring her happiness unlike anything else she'd ever felt before and yet that wasn't the case. Instead, she just felt this unease in her stomach and she wanted to know why that was. She would be there later to talk this all out. Maybe she'd get rid of this unease. And maybe she could work towards getting her happiness like she so desperately wanted. Because she didn't even know what she had now.

All she had now were more questions.


	3. Chapter 2

**Thank you for your reviews and continued support of this story. I promise things will all be revealed in due time and it'll work out the way it's supposed (I love angst but I am not A &E these characters will eventually have their happiness). **

**Guest Reviewer for Ch 2: I can promise you it's nothing like that. Leopold will have a role in this story, but it's not that. That's all I'm saying on the manner, because I don't want to spoil it. But my hope is that the reason Regina left will come out next chapter, if not chapter five for sure.**

 **Okay without spoiling anything I have decided to also write in Regina's point of view from time to time (like in this chapter and maybe the next one) and may also include some flashback chapters to help fill in the three year gap. But that's a later problem. Now all I ask is you sit back and enjoy (this story almost had even more angst in this chapter, but I was talked out of the idea I wanted to go with)**

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Raina White, formally Regina Mills, had always dreaded when this day would come. When she'd not only be faced with her wife, but her young daughter as well. She never imagined it would be like this.

There was shock when she had first seen Maleficent earlier tat morning. She of course noted how well Maleficent still looked and how she'd like nothing more to take her into the supply closet down the hall and rip that pantsuit right off of her. Seeing as that was highly inappropriate given their current relationship status (if you considered them to be in a relationship at this point) and where they were, Regina stopped entertaining those thoughts. She tried her best not to focus on Maleficent and the girl with her, Lily, their daughter. The very one she hadn't seen since she was a month old.

She'd never be able to explain why she suggested they talked. She wasn't really ready for that conversation but also ha to say something. If Maleficent had her way, they would have had it out right then and there. And that was completely the opposite of what Regina wanted to do. So saying they would talk later was really buying her time. Though it felt like just delaying the envitable.

Maybe it had been selfish of her to postpone this talk yet again, but she was already nervous about this being her first day as it was. She didn't need her romantic drama to cloud that on top of everything else she was going through.

Besides it selfishly meant that she could have at least one day getting to know Lily. It may be her last after all.

The whole day she had spent it simply pretending that her daughter wasn't in her class. Which was surprisingly easy enough to do. She had a lot of other children in her class, her first class ever, who needed her attention. Not that she was avoiding or neglecting Lily in anyway, Lily just wasn't problematic. She did was what asked of her and cleaned up after herself. A very well behaved girl. She expected nothing less from her daughter. Or not her daughter. Technically, the girl was hers and she had the stretch marks to prove it, but it wasn't fair to think of her as hers. Not when she had left the way she had. Maleficent had done a wonderful job at raising her and Regina's heart soared with love for the blonde woman yet again. She was always going to love her, that was just a fact of life.

It wasn't as if she hadn't thought about coming back to them. She thought about it all of the time. She only really survived by her memories of Maleficent and of carrying Lily. But she couldn't face them. Not after all that she had done and the way she just left them. She didn't deserve to have them back – something that she continued to disagree with with her therapist, but she was working on that still.

But she knew she had to leave. She wasn't herself and had needed help. And she had gotten that help and was trying to build up her life again. Regina just hadn't anticipated that she'd run into Maleficent before she was fixed, healed completely – another thing her and her therapist disagreed upon.

She just didn't feel ready to face the woman she loved so much.

At least she hadn't been until this morning when they crossed paths again. Like fate wanted to keep intervening in her life.

She had decided that she needed a new life the second she left her home that night three years agoz. That night is the one that plagued her every thought. How she often wished she could go back and change what had happened between them. How she had let such a small thing escalate into what it had. Her therapist often reminded her that there was no use dwelling on the past that she couldn't change. But Regina couldn't help it. She just felt so much guilt and longing. She wanted Mal and Lily back but never knew how to do that.

It was then that she talked to her stepfather, Leopold Blanchard. He had been married to her mother for over fifteen years now. At first, the teenaged Regina resented the man. He was replacing the man she loved so much. Her own father who had died only the year before. She hated her mother, Cora, for moving on so easily and Regina was determined to never speak to either of them ever again. What was worse was that he came with his own daughter, a girl only about eight at the time. Regina at sixteen, wanted nothing to do with this new family she had been forced into. But her mother didn't allow that. Especially since her new sister loved Regina and wanted to spend every waking second with her.

It took Regina going away to college and not being in the same house as the Blanchards to finally start letting them in. Mary Margaret, her new little sister wasn't as annoying when they didn't live under the same roof and Leopold wasn't that bad either. It was clear that he had nothing but love in his heart for both her and her mother, and that he wasn't just trying to use either of them.

Henry Mills, Regina's father had come from money and he willed it all to his wife whom he loved. Cora didn't come from money but when they met she claimed it was love at first sight.

Regina always doubted that story but it was the only one they ever told her. But she doubted it mostly because she didn't believe that love at first sight was possible – still doesn't, but what she shared with Maleficent was as close to it as she was going to get.

Once she pushed her annoyance and anger towards Leopold and Mary Margaret away and out of her heart, she actually started to let them in and have since regarded them as her own family. Sure Leopold would never actually replace her father in her heart, but he was one of her closest confidants. He had been the first call she had made when she left Maleficent and he offered her a room until she figured out what to do. He was the one who got her all the help that she needed and had been by her side through it all. Her mother thought of her as weak, but he wouldn't hear any of that about his stepdaughter.

About two years ago, Regina was finally feeling a little like herself again. But she still didn't want to talk to Maleficent. Leopold had been the one to suggest taking some time off and traveling the world. So she did that, for about four months, but grew tired of the constant traveling. Instead she went back to school and got her teaching credentials. Professionally she changed her name just so that Maleficent couldn't track her down. She picked a first name similar enough to her own and a last name inspired by the man who brought her back from the brink. She thought about just using his name, but he was a big businessman and well known. Blanchard was something that a business attorney like Maleficent would definitely be familiar with and she didn't need that extra stress in her life. So she went with White.

It wasn't that she didn't want to talk to her, not really, but more that she was scared of being rejected. That all of the changes she had done wouldn't be well received by the woman she loved more than anything. Or that she wouldn't understand why she had to leave. Leopold told her she was being ridiculous, that Maleficent was going to love her no matter what, but she was still unsure.

She cut her hair and started her new life. As a preschool teacher. She had gotten a job right away – no doubt because of at least one of her mother's connections. But she tried not to think about that. Instead she got ready to shape young minds.

In all of her soul searching she hadn't realized how much time had passed and that Lily would be starting preschool the same times she'd be starting her new career. Not that she would change her career to avoid seeing her daughter, but would have maybe picked a different school to work in. Maleficent was the type of person to do her research and would only send her daughter to the best preschool around. Mother would only want the best for her daughter and would make sure that she worked only in the best of schools. That'a why they both ended up here at the same time.

Her own new personal hell.

Still she couldn't help but to watch Lily throughout the day. It amazed her at how much the girl looked like her but acted like Maleficent. Really, a perfect blend of the two of them. She couldn't help but fall in love with the little girl and wanted to spend time with her. But she refrained. She couldn't afford to get attached to someone who was probably going to be taken from her. Who knew what Maleficent was going to do after they had talked.

When they did talk, Regina was determined to be completely honest and apologetic. It had been all her fault that they were in this mess. Even though she knew it would probably take a miracle at this point, she hoped Maleficent could maybe forgive her for leaving and understand why she did it. Regina wasn't expecting anything besides that but wouldn't say no to visitation rights - not like she would push for anything of the sort.

She also wouldn't entertain the idea of them even maybe getting back together. Sure she still loved the woman, but also knew she was gone for three years. Surely Maleficent had moved on from her and Regina didn't blame her. She didn't blame her for whatever Maleficent chose to do. The ball was in Mal's court completely, Regina just hoped to settle the score once and for all.

But that didn't stop her from peaking at her daughter throughout the day.

Lily seemed hesitant to play with the other children and Regina's heart broke. She wanted to yell at them and tell them that they were all wrong. Because Lily was amazing and only idiots wouldn't be able to see that. But of course she refrained, wanting to keep her job and not seem like a complete crazy person to Lily. Eventually Lily did warm up to another girl in the class though so Regina didn't have to worry too much.

She still had to bite her tongue when a boy chose to ignore her later on. A rage grew inside of her and she wanted to yell at her students. She didn't anticipate being so defensive of her daughter. Especially this soon after meeting her. Instead of yelling, Regina only continued to teach them like she had planned. She may have thrown in a couple of reminders of the rules about including everyone in their play for Lily's benefit, but she was only human after all. She had a daughter to worry about. And she wanted a classroom environment where everyone was friends. She hoped their would be less hurt feelings that way.

Surprisingly Regina loved every second of teaching. This morning, she had been nervous about starting this new adventure, but only found that it suited her. She was meant to be here, which made her quitting her job as a politician all worth it in the end.

Her mother may disagree with the life choices she had made, but her mother was wrong.

She was made for teaching young minds and if mother didn't see that, then she could be another person in Regina's life that she cut out. She didn't need negative people around her and her therapist was always trying to remind her that her mother didn't control her. And now in this moment, in her new classroom she was actually starting to believe that.

Her mother could be as passive aggressive as she wished to be. It wouldn't change Regina's mind. She was going to keep doing this. Because she finally found something that she loved.

The day seemed to fly by and she almost forgot that she and Maleficent were going to talk. She should be dreading it and she would've been if she didn't have a good day at work to keep her mind off of it.

But as the last activity drew to a close, she was ready for whatever was about to come. This was a talk that had been a long time coming and she owed it both to herself and to Maleficent to come clean and to answer any and all questions Maleficent was going to throw her way. The only way either woman would ever find closure would be to talk it out. It would be the only way that Regina would be able to be in her daughter's life again and that was something she wanted more than anything, especially after spending the day with her.

So as the blonde stood before at the end of the day, Regina couldn't help but smile to herself. She felt the butterflies creep into her stomach at just the sight of her like they had this morning when she had been blindsided by the sight of her wife and tried not to focus on them just yet. She was in teacher mode and focused instead on the students still there. Sure there wouldn't be these buffers there much longer, but they helped to soothe her nerves. She waited for the last child to be picked up before she acknowledged Maleficent.

Suddenly the room felt too small for the three of them. She took small breaths to prevent a panic attack. Luckily, Lily had walked over to Maleficent and was already talking her ear off. God bless their daughter acting as another buffer already. Maybe Regina should bring her a toy or candy or something tomorrow. She lost that idea as quickly as it had come though. She didn't want to come off as playing favorites and for all she knew, this talk could go badly and she'd never see Lily again. She wouldn't entertain thoughts that made her too attached to Lily. She didn't deserve to get attached to the daughter she walked out on, who luckily seemed blissfully aware of that.

Maleficent was watching Regina, but not hovering. She was giving her her space. Even after all this time apart, she loved that Maleficent could read her and that she knew what she wanted. Regina took the time to collect her things, clean up some and turn off the lights. By the time she was ready, she had calmed down significantly and was ready.

She took one last breath and finally walked over to the mother-daughter pair.

"Hi. So um there is a pizza place right around the corner where we could talk."

She suggested with a small smile. She didn't want to talk in her classroom, her new sanctuary. This would not be another place Regina associated with bad memories (should things go south). Mal gave her her own small smile and nodded.

"Pizza sounds lovely."

Regina was grateful that she agreed to have this talk elsewhere. She may not know what was going to he said, at least not by Maleficent. She had been thinking about what she was going to say all day. But still she was eager to go. She gave her estranged wife another smile and a soft nod.

"I just have to lock up, so after you."

As they headed out of her classroom, Maleficent and Lily in front of her, holding hands, already Regina was feeling better about having this talk. This is what she had been missing out on and she no longer wanted to miss a single moment if she could avoid it. If only she knew what Maleficent was thinking.

Still Regina was hopeful, the one emotion she hadn't been feeling all day since Mal walked into her classroom that morning. She just hoped that this feeling of hope wouldn't come back to bite her in the ass like it had before in her past


	4. Chapter 3

**Thank you for your patience and continued support of this story. I am very sorry for the delay. I have gotten busy with life and had so much writers block. I wrote myself into a hole with this story (already) and wasn't completely sure how to continue it. I'm still not sure, but have some muse for it so I wanted to come back to it. From this point on italics will be memories. Because I do think including scenes from their past will help me develop these characters more and help push the story forward. Also I'm not trying to offend anyone with the course of this story and have tried to do as much research about what I have planned for this story as possible, at the I hope I won't end up offending anyone. Okay I'm done rambling. Please enjoy and review.**

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Mal had found that she had been distracted all day long. She knew that it had everything to do with the sudden, unexpected appearance of Regina back in her life. Wasn't it just this morning that she was determined to finally start to move on from Regina? That she was tired of wallowing and hoped of finding some kind of happiness again?

If she knew that all it would take to see her again, was thinking about finally moving on from her, then she would have entertained those thoughts from the beginning. Maybe she'd save herself some grief.

The universe was such a bitch to her most of the time.

Mal had been conflicted all day. So much so, that she didn't really get a lot of work done despite her having a big case coming up. She couldn't focus on that, not when she had a big conversation later on today. How could she really expect to do anything with that hanging over her head. Plus, she was feeling all kinds of emotions at seeing the woman who plagued her very existence.

She felt anger the most.

She was so enraged at Regina for leaving. For missing out on Lily's life. For leaving her completely heartbroken.

God Mal just wanted to scream and yell at her. And she might when they saw each other later. She thought she had gotten over the anger part of the grieving process, but she was wrong. She was very much still in that stage in getting over her feelings and moving on from the relationship.

There was a small part of her that knew she was hanging onto that anger to prevent herself from moving on. Even though Regina hadn't died, Mal still needed to grieve the best and biggest relationship of her life. Without that anger there would be nothing else that kept her from moving on. From accepting that this relationship was over. That's what Mal believed anyways.

Honestly she had been surprised that Regina had even suggested that they talk later. She had half been expecting her to run away again. After all the last time she had done that, that's what she had done, right?

Why didn't she trust her wife anymore?

Probably because above all, Regina had hurt Mal in the worst possible way she could ever imagine. She just left without a word or explanation and Mal was left with unanswered questions and hurt and doubt. Did she do something to bring them to that point? Did Regina hate her that much that she didn't even want to tell her what had happened or give Mal a chance to apologize? It was questions like that that had kept Mal up most nights. Before the nightmares would kick in. God, how did she look in Regina's eyes? As awful as she felt she guessed. Like a heartbroken woman who hadn't had a good night sleep in years.

But then again the sleepless nights was all because of Regina. Who gave a fuck what she looked like? Maybe it would make Regina feel guilty and realize she had made a mistake in leaving.

At least she had been functioning and that Lily was well taken cared for and loved. Regina had no right to judge her otherwise.

What was worse was even through she had all of these scars on her heart, she still loved the woman who put them there. She found that no matter what, she could never stop loving her.

She really wished she could just hate her.

Maybe her life would be easier.

But already she knew that wouldn't be the case. She knew she'd never love anyone half as much as Regina even if she hated her. thwre was no one who's ever understand her the way that Regina had. That they wouldn't fit into her life the same way like Regina did. Besides she'd be too afraid to let anyone in again. For years Mal had built walls around her heart, and only Regina had been the one to break them down. Mal figured it was probably because Regina had her own walls. They had both been hurt in the past by former lovers and were able to heal each other's wounds. She didn't like to think about the new wounds on her heart caused by Regina leaving. She sometimes just liked to pretend they weren't there. That they weren't as big as the ones left there before (but they were; bigger even).

That's why it had hurt so much. Because when Regina left, Mal lost a part of her soul. Slowly Mal was left to pick up the broken pieces of her soul while also caring for an infant who cried for her lost mother.

At least Lily had cried the first few months. And then the crying just stopped and Mal came to a chilling realization. Lily had forgotten Regina altogether.

If only Mal could be as lucky.

To not trigger her daughter at all, she had hid all pictures of Regina and never talked about her. It was really also to help heal her wounds, but she only told herself and her friends it was for Lily's benefit alone. She also never admitted that she kept a picture, her favorite picture of Regina, in her bedside drawer and on the nights she found herself missing the woman the most, she slept with it cuddled next to her chest. Oddly enough, those were also the nights that she wouldn't have nightmares. But she didn't like to dwell about that too much.

She was sure that eventually Lily would have questions about how she came to be, and it would be then and only then that she would explain about Regina and all that had happened between them. But until that day came, she'd avoid talking about Regina as much as possible.

Of course she wasn't hoping to have that particular conversation with her daughter for at least ten years. She also hoped she'd have more answers for her. That her and Regina would have talked and figured out where they went wrong. And she could explain to Lily why it hadn't worked out between her and her other mother. But that didn't mean she wasn't loved. Because she was and even though Regina had left, she knew she still loved her daughter. Or at least she hoped so. Or she may never understand what kind of monster she had ended up married to.

She supposed she could still have that closure now. Which made her excited for the little meeting. If nothing else, they'd both be able to put this behind them and Mal would finally know what had gone wrong.

Mal could easily take their daughter away and never look back should this talk tonight not go as planned. She wasn't going to trust that Regina wasn't just going to hurt them again. Regina would definitely have to earn that again, should she provide a good reason as to why she left. Anything stupid like Leopold blackmailing her for some reason, would cause Mal to take Lily and storm out.

Sure she'd hear Regina out, but if her reason was for something that they could've figured out together, she was sure she'd never forgive Regina for making that decision for them. For her.

What gave her (or anyone) that power over Maleficent? She had always been the one who hated when others made decisions for her and had ended a relationship with someone who was a control freak. Mal vowed never to be with anyone like that.

And she was sure, that wasn't Regina's style. In fact they had bonded over being controlled in their pasts before. Mal by her ex and Regina by her mother. They promised never to be like that and she hoped Regina hadn't gone back on that promise.

 _They had only been going out a few months, but already Mal knew she'd found the one. She'd never felt this way about anyone before and she could see that Regina had felt the same. The "L" word hadn't come out yet, but Mal didn't need to hear that word to know how Regina felt. She just knew in her heart how the brunette felt._

 _Currently, they were lying naked in her bed. They had had dinner in and spent the rest of the night bringing each other as many orgasms as they could. Mal had felt as though at one point they had started to make it a game between them and she swore she'd never have this much pleasure in her life at one time._

 _What they had was passionate and wonderful and she felt bonded to the other woman. There was no doubt in her head that Regina was who she was meant to be with. Thank god for that spilt coffee all those months ago._

 _Currently they were wrapped up in each other and she couldn't tell where she ended and where Regina began. Gently she stroked the younger woman's stomach, a smile still on her face as she watched her lover come down from her last high._

 _Regina sleepily turned towards her and cupped her cheek. "Mal. I need you to promise me something."_

 _Mal frowned and watched Regina closely. "Anything."_

 _"Before this continues and goes any deeper than it already has.. I need to know that you're not controlling. I- my mother was like that and I can't let someone else I care about tell me what to do. I won't be able to trust myself about who to love anymore."_

 _She nodded, trying not to get to hung up on her choice of wording. There it was the infamous "L" word and yet she didn't want to scare Regina away by pointing it out. Especially if she hadn't been ready to say it and the word had just been a slip of the tongue._

 _"I'm not Regina. My ex was a controlling bitch and I hated her for it."_

 _"I'm serious. My mother... she controlled, controls, every part of my life. Where I went to school, who I dated and hung out with. What clothes to wear. All of it. Or at least sh did until I moved out. And I'm not looking for a partner who does that to me. So please promise me you're not like that?"_

 _She sounded so broken. So vulnerable and Mal wanted nothing more to protect her from the world. From her mother. She smiled and nodded and held her a little closer._

 _"I promise."_

 _Regina smiled and leaned up to kiss her. Mal closed the distance between them and kissed her back. She rested her forehead against hers. It was the time to say it, she just knew it._

 _"Regina.. I"_

 _"I know. I feel it too.." she stole another quick kiss from her lips. "But I'm not ready to say it nor am I ready to hear it. I was taught that love is weakness... and I don't want to think of you as my weakness. Just give me time."_

 _And time was what she gave her._

Mal pulled out of the memory with a sigh. Things seemed so much simpler then than they were now. Sometimes she wished she could go back to the beginning. At least then she'd be happy and in love instead of heartbroken and miserable.

But she loved her daughter and wouldn't want a life where she wasn't in it. Nothing would make her take Lily's birth back. So going back really wouldn't work because then she wouldn't have Lily. Her salvation. She knew that she wouldn't be anywhere without Lily. She tried not to think about how her happiness now seemed to depend on another woman (or her female child, really).

She shook her head of the memory and looked at the clock. Somehow time seemed to slip away and it was time to retrieve Lily. Which meant it was time to talk to Regina.

Still, she was unsure how this conversation would go and she just wanted it to be done with. There was so much uncertainty in her life and she just wanted all of that gone. The only way to clear her life of the uncertainty was to talk to Regina. With a heavy heart, she collected her things and headed over to the preschool. She had signed her daughter up for a full day instead of a half day, knowing there would be no way that Mal could leave work at noon to get the girl. And the word "nanny" had been thrown around by her friends, most of them single people without children. They said hiring a nanny would be so much easier for Mal and that she wouldn't have to spend so much money on preschool. But Mal refused to hire a nanny. She herself had been readied mostly by a nanny and didn't want the same for her daughter. She wanted to be as active in her child's life as she could, especially since she was a single mother, the only person Lily had. They didn't understand her, but nothing was going to change her mind. Besides, being around children her age would be good for Lily. At least that's what she had thought before she knew the teacher was Regina. Now she wasn't sure what to do.

There were still other children then when she arrived and she felt better about signing up her daughter for the full day. At least Lily hadn't been the only child there and that there were other parents who had to work just like Mal. But that only meant their conversation was going to be delayed. She waited paitently for the other children to be picked up. She had waited this long after all.

She saw that in Regina's she needed space. She looked like she was dreading this conversation as well. Great. After all this time, she could still read her estranged wife like a book. Something she took pride in, even though she wasn't sure she should be proud of that. She busied herself by talking to Lily and asking her about her day. From the sounds of it, it seemed like she had fun and Mal was glad.

Once Regina was finished and suggested pizza Mal agreed. It was getting late, nearing six, and she'd need to feed Lily anyways. Besides it still gave Regina some space to think before they hashed this out. So hand in hand with her daughter, she left Regina's classroom.

It was probably better that this conversation took place in public. Mal would be less inclined to make a scene. Less likely to yell and curse out Regina, and traumatizing her child in the process. That was definitely something she wanted to avoid as much as she could.

Lily, bless her, made small talk on the way to the restaurant so that she didn't have to deal with the awkward tension between her and her wife.

They quickly ordered and found a table towards the back. No need for people to eavesdrop. Regina was the child of pretty public people. Mal always knew regina preferred her space away from anyone who could recognize her. So Mal often tried to find the table furthest away from the crowd for Regina. It was something that Regina once told her she loved about her.

Now she had no clue what was going on in her wife's head.

That was what this meal was for after all.

Lily dug in as soon as Mal had served her. She wouldn't pay them any attention. Not while there was food in front of her.

Mal tried not too watch Regina too much but couldn't help it. Not really. She tried to eat, but was nervous. It seemed like Regina felt the same way.

With a quick wipe of Lily's face, Mal opened her mouth to say something, but Regina beat her to it.

"Look I know you have questions so don't sugar coat this or hesitate. I just want it all out in the open. So go ahead. I'll answer whatever you want to know."

"Did someone threaten you or Lily? Is that why you left and changed your name?" It was the first thing that had come to her as a reason why Regina left and she just wanted to make sure this wasn't some kind of trap.

"What no? I promise it's nothing like that." She tucked her hair behind her ear, a nervous habit she had. Mal just nodded.

"Then why?"

Regina took a small breath and looked away almost as if she was ashamed. "I had postpartum when Lily was born." She trailed off and still didn't look up at Mal.

That was definitely not what she had expected and she paused unable to speak. Already more questions where forming in her head but she was only able to say one of them.

"What?"


End file.
